Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps
by Ashika
Summary: Our favorite teenaged super-heroes are going through the traumatic woes of life. They each find their niche in trauma as they wander along the path to acceptance. Surprise and inevitability reign supreme and life won't always follow the requisite course.
1. Incurable Cancer

**Anger – Part I in the Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps series**

**Cyborg**

I hate this body. I hate it. I hate that I can do so many _things_ now. I can lift two thousand pounds with my bare hands. But they aren't really bare. They're the hands of an android. And I can't do anything myself anymore.

A tragedy, I know. I pity myself. Self-pity. They all said for me to get over myself.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Well fuck that. I tried getting over myself. But in the end, I'm still a Cyborg.

My name used to be Victor Stone. I used to have a human name. I used to. But now I'm just a machine. Mostly anyway. It used to hurt. Now it _burns_. It burns inside. I think I technically shouldn't have any emotions as it is. I was lucky to have retained the emotions I've got.

Yeah. I was _lucky_.

I was lucky like the guy who dies within seconds of getting diagnosed with incurable cancer.

And I was supposed to be lucky to have been saved. Anyone who feels lucky after what I've been through is better off dead.

And now what have I got? I've got friends. Yeah, right. I've got an alien who barely understands the English language, let alone understands me. I've got a girl who calls herself Raven. She's got her head stuck up her ass so fucking far she can't see the light of day. How the hell is she supposed to see me?

I've got Beast Boy. He's a good kid. I'll say it again. He's a good kid. A good _kid_. He doesn't understand anything. He's too young; immature. Stupid kids. I may not be much older, but I fuckin' _know_ the world. Hell… just look at me. I'm an _android_. I think I get some things about this world.

And then we have Mister Leader-man. Yeah. Right. He's a real good friend. Won't even let his best friends – his _trusted_ companions – see his face. His eyes. His _eyes_. I'm jumping at the chance to be best friends with that one. Can't we just feel the love?

I don't know why this happened to me. Maybe God said, "I haven't secretly fucked with enough people today. I'm going to…screw that person over." And it just happened to be me. Maybe it was pure coincidence. But they say there are no such things as coincidences.

So what the hell am I left with? I'm left as a permanently disabled boy. My body is always going to be that of a teenager. I'll probably never grow much older looking. Metal never grows old – only rusty. And with the new upgrades perpetually coming out, my metal will never get rusted.

Perhaps I am being too harsh. But I don't care. This body is barely meant to entertain emotions. Why am I supposed to care?

I'll never know. My CPU does not comprehend. Caring: the act of caring. What the fuck do I care?

I just wish someone was like me. I wish I could at least look human. I wish…I fucking wish so many things. But who the hell listens to people like me? I'm just the mechanic who has a fetish for cars. Probably because they're closer to me in 'DNA' than those people who try to call me friend.

I would pray to God. But he screwed me over. And those 'deities' (and yes I know that goddamn word) the girls are always praying to? I personally don't think they're worth shit. It looks to me that Raven and Star have a bunch of shit in their life that their Goddesses haven't deigned to fix.

Maybe life would be better if everything fell apart. Starfire says that the future is crap because we all did that drifting thing. I don't know that I give a fuck anymore.

Sometimes I feel a little bit sorry I feel that way. And then I remember that I'm supposed to be lucky that I feel. So I shut down the emotional sector and life feels so much better. Contentment creeps through that wall I've put up and I can only think one thing.

Fuck.

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**AN:** My my, Cyborg sure is angry. Tough for him. Sorry about the ending, it sort of sucked, yes? I thought so, but I truly believe the other endings are better. 

As it may have been indicated, this is a five part series. It's 95 done, meaning all of the chapters. I think Raven and Beast Boy are my favorites, but who knows? Please read and review.

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Teen Titans.**

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	2. The L Word

**Depression – Part II in the Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps series  
Robin

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Starfire is so beautiful it hurts.

I can't help but look at her and stare. She walks as if she's floating and it's an art. Her smiles are a beautiful entity all on their own and her eyes spark with a glow of green and…and…and I can't help but wish she were only looking at me.

I reach out in my mind's eye a hundred times a day to caress her flawless skin. I think about doing it in the real world and prepare to put my thoughts into action.

I ready myself for the boldest move I've ever made and she looks my way. Her eyes lock with mine and I'm trapped like a deer. Her compassionate eyes look at me with curiosity and the spell is broken.

I bolt.

Later I will make up some excuse for my sudden and strange behavior, but for now I can only hide in the darkness of my room. I speed-walk with as much dignity as possible. I avoid the others and hope that no one will question me on my way to my room. No one comes.

The shadows comfort me in their stillness. Unlike the brightness of day, I know they will only move if I move. They will react to my action. They will do as I predict.

I wish Starfire would do as I predict. And yet, I know she will not. Can not.

I expect things from her that she is incapable of giving. I forget that she is inhuman – alien. Even Beast Boy, green and elfin, is more human than she. She is my Martian in Earthling clothing. Or rather, my Tamaranian in Earthling appearance.

And that hurts.

These things play over and over in my mind and each time something different happens. I tell her over and over that I love her. She accepts my love. She rejects me cruelly. She becomes angry but accepts me later. She…

But none of it will happen and none of it is real. I've already told her and she has already shown me her reaction.

I told her I love her and she smiled. Starfire's magnificent eyes widened a tiny fraction and my heart pounded fast. I knew she was going to say she loved me back. I could see it in her face, in her open caring expression.

And then my world fell apart. Then I knew I should never have revealed my deepest thoughts. Because she cocked her head to the side and she smiled a bigger smile and walked away.

I was devastated.

I deluded myself for a few moments more, telling myself that she was only shocked. But Starfire was never shocked. She often misunderstood, but never got surprised. Not unless it was about little things like _drifting_ apart.

It somehow ended up that I was surprised. I heard her talking to Raven. She asked her what was love. Raven did her best. Raven tried to explain an emotion she never let herself feel. And Raven explained it well.

But Starfire couldn't understand. She never rejected me. She just did not understand.

Starfire, for all her care and beauty, didn't understand love.

For her love is just a word.

And affection is the most she can give.

She's still beautiful to me. And it hurts.

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**AN: So, Robin is being all angsty. Big surprise? Probably not. Starfire? Probably. I never REALLY thought of her as being so heartless, and I really do believe she has the capacity for love. I'm all for Robin/Starfire. Just didn't happen in this one. It wasn't for this fic. **

**Raven's up next, and she's feeling thoughtful. Kind of. I guess everyone is, but she's feeling more mellow than the rest. As always, please review. **


	3. Meditation Hazards

**Bargaining – Part III in the Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps series  
Raven**

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I have a demon inside me. It flails and it roars and it rages. I want it to stop. I would do anything to make it stop.

Meditation is nothing but a medication treating the symptoms. It does nothing to attack the problem. And really, there is nothing to be done about the 'problem.' I mean, it's actually half of my genetic material. How do I destroy half of myself? Without killing all of me, that is.

If there were a way, I would know about it. I read too much not to have known about it. Those books in my room? They aren't for decoration.

Some of them had solutions. Well, false ones, anyway. I tried them. I tried to exorcise the demon within. It wasn't possible. But most people don't actually have to deal with half-demons.

I even tried to use the exorcisms that were for full humans dealing with full demons possessing their body. That certainly didn't work. I ended up feeling sicker than I ever had before. Dr. Light will probably never fully recover.

So I gave them up. Well, gave up in a relative sort of way. I still look. I just don't really expect to find anything. It's a fully human half-hearted attempt. So I look to the people around me for support.

I know Beast Boy wants to like me. I can see it in his eyes and his aura every time I pass by him. Every time I run by his side into battle. But he never actually acts on it.

I can't help but wonder what he's thinking. Sometimes I think about going into his mind, but I don't think he would like that very much. I'm not even sure that I would survive the encounter with his full-on mind. Though he is immature, he is very powerful. Anyone with morphing powers like his is powerful.

Beast Boy is just too immature to leash it. Or maybe he's just too scared. Once he has it under control, that's it. There's nowhere to go but forward. By being stuck in this phase, he never has to grow up. He's a real, living Peter Pan. Green skin for tights, but it all works out the same.

And once he's all grown up, all he has to do is keep control. Maintaining control is harder than gaining it. Much, much harder. I would know.

And the other Titans are hurting. There is so much I would give to heal their hurts. If I could be sure that giving it all up wouldn't destroy the world. It's a little bit pointless to heal someone, only to blow up their planet.

Cyborg is so angry. I can no longer meditate near him. My own thoughtless cavern only echoes his anger and awakens my own rage. I want to give him peace of mind. I want to give him happiness. I could do it, if…

It always comes down to ifs. If I had this. If I could do that. But I can't. If – there's the word again – the Gods were merciful, they would let me do this without hurting them all over again.

But I have to wonder if they can hear my pleas above the fully humane of us. Or if my demon half reduces my plea's worth by half as well.

I saw Robin rejected by our resident stranger. And he is bleeding inside. It hurts so badly for him. I can feel it in my own heart. It's a stabbing pain every time he sees her – and he sees her often.

She is oblivious. Starfire doesn't understand. She can 'love' as much as anyone can. But she is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. She has the knowledge. She utilizes it to her utmost potential.

I can really only explain it in this way. There are certain emphases on words in the English language. In a girly, cutesy sort of way I could (but I wouldn't) ask Starfire, "Do you like him? Or do you _like_ him?"

She would never understand. She would think I was repeating myself. She would reply, "I like him."

The nuance is lost on her. And therein is her trouble. She knows what love is. But she doesn't _know_. And I get the feeling she never will - here that is.

I meditate and I pray to the Gods. I pray to them that they will grant peace to me. And that they will heal my friends. I will give anything. I will do anything.

And by everything I mean nothing. For there is nothing I _can_ do.

I only wish there was.

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**AN: I think Raven was probably one of my better characterizations. I really enjoyed writing Beast Boy, but unfortunately for you, Starfire is next. She was really, really hard for me. I can't even begin to describe the difficulty I had with her. You'll see that it's not as good as the other. Or at least I don't think so.**

**In any case, please review. It makes my day. And helps me write better. Constructive critism is ALWAYS appreciated. And flames make me laugh. Anything will do!  
**


	4. Greek Tragedy

**Denial – Part IV in the Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps series  
Starfire**

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Perhaps I should start at the beginning. I was born into the monarchy of the planet Tamaran. My mother and father were somewhat close, but they left the parenting to my _k'norfka_ as was the custom. My _k'norfka_ was one of the best, as was set by the standards for a princess, and taught me the values of a Tamaranian Princess well.

Obviously things were not so well for my sister.

But that is not of the matter. My _k'norfka_ taught me about friendship, caring, acceptance and forgiveness. I understand all of these things. I do not understand this concept of 'love.' I do not understand the practicality of it.

My friends will say that love is not practical. But are not all things to be practical? Friends are excellent for companionship and alliance. Caring is good to maintain relationships. To care ensures a high-quality rapport. Acceptance and forgiveness is also a maintenance tool. I will accept many things within a relationship.

For example, the new rising of hatred within the Earth people's world for the homosexuals is surprising. There have been homosexuals since the time of the Greeks. If one believes in Christianity, it is in evidence there. But I would accept my friend 'coming out of the utility shed.'

Robin told me that he loved me. He had such sad eyes when I smiled at him. I didn't know what to say. I could have said I loved him back, but I didn't think it was appropriate. I asked dear friend Raven what love was.

She told me it was an emotion. I knew that. Many things I understand about humans and emotion – emotion being an integral part of my being, I understood that much.

Then she told me that it was an extended (or perhaps she said expanded?) version of friendship and caring. As I said before, I understand friendship and care. But how does one extend those feelings?

These concepts are rather ridiculous, if one were to ask me. I mean, friends are friends. During the ordeal with my sister and the snot being I was touched by Robin's concern for me. I think I understand now that it was not only out of friendship that he was concerned.

I guess my attempt at humanity has fallen short. Perhaps it would be best if I were to leave. I can deny the feelings Robin has for me, but I can feel his hurt every time I see him. I can tell it affects Raven as well. She gets a strange look on her face each time I and Robin are in the same room.

Maybe emotional repression is a good thing. Of course, this would be detrimental to my powers. But it seems to me that Robin would be better off with a containment of his emotional aura. I do not completely understand the intricacies of the human anatomy, but it is clear to me that Robin is making foolish decisions in his time of emotional trauma.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I had just said I loved him. But it is not the truth. Or at least as I understand it. Perhaps there are particulars to this emotion that I am not aware of. For it seems to me that parents tell their children they love them on this planet. And they certainly could not mean that they would like to start a romantic relationship, could it?

That is some highly disturbing information. I shall have to research this extensively. Am I realizing the pain I am putting others through by my 'rejection' of dear friend Robin? Perhaps. I don't really care to look. One day, possibly.

Until then, I am content with knowing that love is impractical.

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**AN: Well, that was...hard. But, I thought it was a little bit of a prelude to the future. Just because the future isn't set in stone doesn't mean there's more than one road to the same place. In any case, Beast Boy is up next, and is the last. Last but not least. Definitely not least. Please review!**


	5. Emotional Constipation

**Acceptance – Part V in the Unrequited Love in Five Easy Steps series  
Beast Boy**

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Raven is emotionally constipated.

I like that word: constipated. It's a big word.

Emotionally constipated means that Raven has her feelings stuffed up her butt so tight she can't get them out. That's what Cyborg told me. You'd think with all the tea she drinks she'd be ok.

Sometimes I wonder how it's possible that she can't get emotional. Actually, there are a lot of things I don't understand. And a lot of things I do. But mostly I don't.

You're thinking the same thing I'm thinking, aren't you?

Precisely: soy and tofu ice cream. I'm craving it.

Mmm…let's take a moment to savor the taste of soy and tofu ice cream.

Anyway, back to constipation. Constipation, constipation, constipation – has a certain ring to it, doesn't it? It's just full of hard sounds. Like stop. Just sounds like a word that would make you…stop.

And Raven stops. She stops. Stop. Pots? Stop. She stops it all. All the emotions. They don't have medicine for that. Not really.

I wish they did. I wish. I wish they would cure her. But to cure her they would have to take out the demon in her. The bad parts. I don't really understand. But I understand enough. Raven is half-demon.

I watch too much anime - Inu-yasha. I like it sub-titled. Sometimes. Then you get to understand some things in Japanese. Hanyou means half-demon. But I don't know if this applies. Half-demon suits Raven better.

I wonder if it hurts to be half-demon. Yeah, I look like a green elf. But I'm no demon. Not even half. I think. I don't really know. I hope not. Life would be bad around here if this dude had to try and constipate his emotions. I would explode. It would be, like, green elf guts everywhere. Gross.

I wonder if Raven will ever explode. Not for real. I mean emotionally. She goes insane in the future. That's what Star said when she came back. Then we had a party. I can't even remember the name of it. Something to do with drifting apart? Well, not drifting apart. I think? I know what I mean, and that's what counts. Right?

I wouldn't want her to go insane. She's creepy, but she's my friend.

And I think I'm in like with her. Yeah. I like her. Sorta, kinda, maybe. I don't know anymore. Ever since Terra…

Terra was my new best friend. She paid more attention to me than anyone else ever had. Except for the circus people. They liked me best – but not in a good way. Anyway, Terra liked me back. If she hadn't betrayed us – well. Lots of things would have been different if she hadn't betrayed us. I would probably still trust myself.

I wish lots of things were different. But I hope they don't get different. Because, in this weird funky sort of way – I like this life. I like my friends the way they are. Sometimes I wonder if I would like Raven if she weren't emotionally constipated. Maybe. Maybe it's just that I think that it's a safe bet she'll never like me back.

Maybe I'm just too scared. Maybe I'm scared of people telling me I'm not hilarious anymore. Even though I never was.

Having my heart ripped out by the first girl I liked sort of emotionally constipated me. Redemption came too late for any of us and now…

Now I like it that way. I can be just like everyone else.

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**AN:** And thus ends the series. I really liked Beast Boy the best, but maybe you disagree. Ah well...please review! 


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